How to Stop Being a Control Freak

February 11, 2015 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

My tendencies to be a control freak have watered down. Thank goodness! Maybe it has to do with me being the oldest in my family and a Taurean. I have always felt a strong sense of responsibility and being calm and collected. I had to always be in control. No matter what.

Stop Controlling and Surrendering More

Well, soon after, I learned life doesn’t work that way. Just when you think you have everything under control, things unravel 🙂

Here are some great ways to start to stop being a control freak…

Start Surrendering

Funny, I say surrendering. This month February for some reason has been intense for me. I have been feeling all sorts of emotions. Blocks are suddenly arising. Fears are cropping up. I am relying on my self care and inner work.

I am feeling huge resistance. My walls are coming up. I want to be in control.

What do you do in this situation? Completely let go. Stop over analyzing and thinking. Breathe and let go. Breathe and surrender.

Confide in Others

You don’t need to go through everything alone. Confide in a friend or loved one or family member about what you’re going through. When you do this, you won’t feel the need to control everything. You can shift what you’re feeling to your loved ones. You can depend on them, too. Just like they depend on you.

Don’t Pretend to Have it Together When You Feel Otherwise…

This one was big. Especially for someone like me who has to have it together. Well, I’m a human, for God sake!

Exactly! You are a human and you can’t have it together all the time. You don’t need to pretend either.

Accept You Can’t Control Everything

You can’t control everything. Or anyone. Period. So stop trying to do so. Once you learn to let go, you’ll find it’s a tremendous relief to let go and let the cards fall where they fall.

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments!

Want A Man Instead of Needing a Man…

February 7, 2015 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

When you are in the dating stage and after talking to a few guys, you finally find one guy who you connect with. You enjoy his company, find him attractive, and can kinda see a future together (possibly!). You actually start to want him. And that’s when insecurities build. That’s when fears crop up.

Feeling Secure and Wanting a Man

Sound familiar, ladies?

Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone

The fears and insecurities crop up when you start liking someone. Why? Well, because that’s when you’re in dangerous territory. Your feelings can get hurt. You try to protect yourself.

When you haven’t transitioned into relationship ground yet, then don’t be afraid of spending time with yourself. Give space to the guy and yourself.

You might be anxious to hear from him, but you need to give him the room to step up and take initiative.

Cherish Your Alone Time

Enjoy the time you have with yourself. Instead of waiting for him to text and call you for the next date, go out with your friends. Go out and have a life. Focus on your ambitions. It’s normal to have that floaty, beautiful feeling when you think about that person and want to be with them, but there is a process in this stuff and it must unfold organically.

Spend Quality Time With A Man

This way, when you do spend time with that man, you truly enjoy the time with him. You can make sure it counts. Let the magic unfold naturally.

What is your biggest takeaway from this post? Please share with me in the comments.

Limit Your Inner Critic – Strive for Balancing Your Fears and Doubts

February 4, 2015 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

This has been a mixed week. I have been all over the place and it’s only Wednesday! I have been critical of myself. I’ve barely slept.

Limit Your Inner Critic

Some Doubt and Fear Are Normal

It’s absolutely natural and even encouraged to feel some doubt and fear. Because obviously when you’re embarking on new experiences and being more honest to yourself, your mind will want to get in the way.

Your inner critic will come alive. It’s lurking in there somewhere and even though, if you’re like me, actually took the time to do inner work on yourself, it still resurfaces.

The danger comes when you don’t know how to deal with it.

Balance the Critical Feelings

How do you deal with it? First things first. You can’t just pretend to not notice it. It’s like that elephant in the room concept. It’s there. You’re feeling it right now. Feel it. It’s real. You don’t need to be scared.

Just like the elephant, whether you choose to acknowledge its existence or not, it’s standing right there.

After you acknowledge your fears and doubts, feel them completely. Take tiny steps to balance those feelings. What makes you feel good at that moment? Do you want to take a long nap? Do you want a cup of tea? Do little things that bring you peace.

Let it Freaking Go

It’s about focusing on the moment. As you center your attention on what you truly desire at that moment, you can let the inner critic go. You can let those critical feelings dance in you, but not bug you. Like that bug that sits on your skin. You just allow it to be there, while flowing through your moments.

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.

Being Vulnerable is Being Truthful and Brave

February 1, 2015 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

“I feel like my secret magic trick that separates me from a lot of my peers is the bravery to be vulnerable and truthful and honest.” – Katy Perry

Isn’t being able to express who you are authentically beautiful? Isn’t it wonderful to not pretend to be anyone but yourself? Being a strong, powerful woman is not about being in control 100 % of the time. It’s about letting go and embracing who you are every moment.

Katy Perry: Vulnerability is a Strength

Being Vulnerable Is Brave

Keeping all your emotions stuffed inside some corner of your heart is overrated and not worth it. It doesn’t mean you’re strong. It means you’re good at dismissing your own feelings.

You’re a human being. And one of the beauties of being one is you have a whole range of emotions you feel. Actors tap into their plane of emotions all the time to get into the zone and act out a scene. The world runs on emotions in many ways, when you think about it. Why would you want to suppress them?

Be Honest and Open

I am one of those people who always thought I had to keep my emotions hidden. As a result, I had repressed emotions that lay energetically in my body for a long time. And they arose when certain buttons were pushed in me. It took me some time to realize it takes too much work and energy to pretend to be strong and detached.

The truth is I am a high value woman who feels intensely and strongly. I become angry, sad, upset, happy, ecstatic, and a whole bunch of other emotions. It’s part of who I am and I don’t have to sweep them away, but instead accept that part of me.

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.

Does Your Boyfriend Think You’re Not Good Enough for Him?

January 30, 2015 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

There are some men who feel they aren’t good enough for the woman. But what about the exact opposite scenario? What if your guy thinks you’re not good enough for him? That most likely means you’re not dating the right person.

Never Think You’re Not Good Enough for Anyone

Here are 6 signs:

He Likes to Talk About Himself More Than You

He loves talking about himself. He talks about his job, family, hobbies, basically everything under the sun. That too, without you asking questions about those topics. That’s a clear sign of a self-absorbed man who doesn’t respect your opinion and persona.

He Does Not Ask You Any Questions About Yourself

This one ties into the previous point. Chances are if he keeps talking about himself, he probably barely asks you any questions about yourself. He barely shows any interest in your life.

Drops Snide Remarks or Comments by Way of Conversation

He drops rude comments through conversations with you or about you around friends and/or strangers. I had this happen to me once. I liked this guy once who I brought to my home to meet my family. He would jokingly, but you could tell he meant it, kept saying that I was stupid. That obviously meant he didn’t find me good enough.

He Does Not Value Your Time

He does not care to meet you. And if he does, he meets you on his own terms. He fits you into his schedule, not the other way around.

He Flirts With Girls In Front of You

He doesn’t care if you’re around. He’ll flirt shamelessly with your friends or other women in front of you.

You’re Never Good Enough

In other words, anything you do or say is never good enough for him. He finds faults in you and finds opportunities to belittle you.

If you are with someone who meets some or all of the above signs, then it’s a clear, strong indicator that you must reassess and reconsider your relationship with him. Remember you deserve someone who honors and respects you.

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.

Priyanka Yadvendu

Answers to Joy, Intimacy, Security, Family & Romantic Relationships for 20-Something Women