Are you considering online dating? I have experienced it and would love to share my thoughts.

The Pros

Easy for Your Schedule and Busy Life

I used Match.com and eHarmony.com for trying out online dating. I got tired of meeting guys at bars, so I opted for online dating. It was also a great way to make time for romance while juggling my busy schedule.

Access to Many Guys

You can set your parameters on age, ethnicity, income, etc. for the type of guy you desire. Their algorithms will spit out guys that match your preferences. Suddenly, you have a bunch of guys that you could possibly consider dating.

Safe Distance

Online dating is simple and convenient. But there is also a safe distance. You’re sitting behind a computer and so you can feel safe reaching out to total strangers you don’t know at all.

The Possibility of Meeting a Great Guy

Honestly, what if you meet the love of your life? You just never know!

The Cons

Out of Sight – Out of Touch

If you travel extensively or are too busy to arrange meeting up with guys right away, chances are they’ll forget about you eventually. This also works the other way around. When a guy took too much time to meet, other guys had already zeroed in on me. I met up some and realized I was starting to like them. So I wasn’t as interested in the others…

The Weird Guys…

I’m not going to lie and say there aren’t some strange guys….

Can be Impersonal

When there are too many options, it becomes kind of like a jungle. And since the interaction starts online, there is no emotional attachment.

Instant Gratification

Sometimes, people want things fast. They want sex fast. Or instant gratification.

Related: What to Do if Your Boyfriend Keeps Talking about His Ex Girlfriend

Have you tried online dating or know anyone who has? Please share with me in the comments.

You may be put in the incredibly uncomfortable and awkward position when a married man makes a pass at you.

Do You Know this Person or Is He a Stranger?

Depending on the situation, it can be uncomfortable either way, but I feel it would be more awkward if you know the person. If the person is a stranger, you know you don’t know him so he may have a history of doing this that you’re not aware of. And you may not even have to see him again. Or you can easily avoid the situation.

But when you know the man in question, how do you respond? What if he’s a friend or co-worker’s husband? Can you spell yikes?!

You Will Have to Tread Carefully

It’s tricky ground to tread. I don’t know if this is right, but I wouldn’t necessarily say anything to your friend or co-worker. She may choose to believe you or not. And if not, then your friendship is put on stake and may never be the same.

It is her personal life and perhaps she already knows or maybe not. If you really feel strongly and compelled, then tell your friend.

If you can simply avoid the situation, that maybe better. But if it persists and there’s no way avoiding the situation, then I would much rather suggest you talk to the man in question.

Remember you can talk to your parents or a close friend about this if you want someone to listen to you and get some advice.

Have you been in this situation? What did you do? Please share with me in the comments.

You love your guy. You feel secure and happy in your relationship. Only one thing bothers you. Him talking about his ex girlfriend. Ever been in that situation?

You Don’t Like His Constant References to His Ex Girlfriend

You don’t like that he drops her name in casual conversation or mentions he spoke to her recently. I would like to believe I am a very supportive and tolerant person especially in a relationship, but this situation did happen to me. I knew that their break up didn’t happen on the best terms and as he had ended the relationship, I could see there was still some guilt in him over ending the relationship with his ex.

There was a long history between them, knowing each other through their families over the years. In this situation, I can understand the mention of her name in casual passing.

My Thinking was that I’d Rather Hear it From Him…

I trusted him and knew that he was into me. Intuitively, I just knew there wasn’t anything going on. And I thought I’d much rather hear him talk about her occasionally rather than play the role of a “jealous” girlfriend. It was safer to hear about her through him than him not telling me anything. I could have some “control” in this way. I don’t like to admit it, but it made me feel more secure, too.

But It Started to Bother Me

After a point, I could see her effect on him. It was clear she wasn’t over him and though he wasn’t into her, there was guilt in him. That feeling was triggered every time he spoke to her. Fears became activated in him.

I realize now I should’ve been honest and just had a transparent conversation with him. Even though nothing was happening between them, certain people in our lives represent a specific time in our lives. They take us back to what we used to be. And today in this present, you may have evolved. But being in touch with someone who held such a big part in your life can take you back to your fears and who you were.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s fine to be in touch with your ex’s (though quite frankly, I don’t even believe that, but to each his own), but make sure that your fears and guilt from those relationships don’t spill over to your current one. That your belief patterns from then don’t return and undo all the work you’ve done on yourself and your relationship. After all, being in love is beautiful and you should be fair to yourself and your relationship by minimizing contact with people who were a part of your life before your partner came along.

Have you had this experience? What did you do? Please share with me in the comments.

I am an independent and ambitious woman with a mind of my own. I make my own decisions and am in control. But that same sense of control can spill into relationships.

Let Yourself Soften in a Relationship

When I exhibit control in my relationships, I am in action mode. I am not keeping myself open to receiving. I have noticed one thing about myself when I do this. I become too closed and keep strong boundaries in place.

My inner self becomes hard. Why not let myself soften and open myself more up to him? Embrace my sensual, feminine side. This way, I can be more receptive to him.

Allow the Man to be A Man

Let him be a man. Let him serenade you and make you feel desired and protected. Give him the joy of doing things for you if he wants to. For example: I dated men who insisted on paying for our meals and dates most of the time.

I cringed. I didn’t want him to pay. I would insist on paying or at least splitting the bill. But he wouldn’t let me. I realized why couldn’t I sit back and let him do it. He wanted to do it.

Related: What to Do if Your Boyfriend Keeps Talking about His Ex Girlfriend

Watch Him Rise as He is Needed

And when he did it, he was filled with joy. His face just glowed. This is a simple example, but as a woman, you must soften up and allow him to be a man. He will rise as he is needed. And he will adore you 🙂

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.