Relationships are treasures filled with infinite wisdom. They are stepping stones meant to elevate your spiritual self. They are supposed to help you reach your enlightened self. I wish I knew this earlier, but it has been starting to click now. I often wondered what drew two people together romantically.

Relationships Teach You Life Lessons

It doesn’t matter how your relationship started – whether casual or serious – it is meant to teach you life lessons. That person came into your life for a very specific and special reason. I met guys online and some through my family. But the most spooky and ironic have been the ones I met randomly. When certain men just walked into my life without me knowing what it would bring me.

I remember a guy I met at work and invited himself to my house. Another one I met at a bar. All of them taught me something valuable.

YOU Invited Those Relationships – They Are Your Creations

A little bit of history on me: I started dating when I was 24 years old. That’s probably late for American standards and though I haven’t been with too many people, for some reason, intense, profound relationships made their way into my life.

I remember even being told that I would attract very intense, sensitive souls into my life. How fitting that statement is.

Your relationships are your creation. They enter because they are meant to push certain emotional buttons in you. It is up to you to understand that and deal with the issues that arise from your emotional baggage. You know that guy or woman who goes through relationship after relationship, but nothing changes? It’s because they never learn the karmic lessons and hence keep attracting the same type of person and nothing fundamentally changes.

I finally realized this. I met up with a close friend who has known me since childhood. Right before she moved to the East Coast, we sat at a Sweet Tomato’s discussing our lives. The topic of love came up and she made one striking observation. She told me I’ve always liked the unattainable man. That statement punched me in the heart. I was startled. It was true. She had known every crush I had since the age of 15.

Every man I fell for was unattainable in many ways. It forced me to work on myself. Because I realized I had ran away from serious relationships and marriage even though deep down I really craved them. I was afraid of making myself vulnerable so I set myself up with men who I knew were not entirely right for me. I was as commitment phobic as they were. And this meant doing major work on my inner self to change that.

Relationships Draw Out Your Hidden Pain

They are meant to crack your heart open. Don’t be afraid of that. Be courageous and dive deep into falling in love. You’ll find parts of yourself awakened that you never knew existed.

No one enters a relationship thinking: Hmm! What life lessons will this teach me?

Subconsciously though, that is what is happening. We subconsciously choose the person to bring out your hidden pain. Someone who will push those emotional buttons in you and draw attention to where you need to do self work.

Looking back, there is a consistent pattern in the men I am attracted to. I am the eldest in my family and several responsibilities rest on my shoulders. I am methodical and controlled. But my choice of men is the exact opposite. I like someone who lives in the present, is laid back, and makes me laugh. They help me let go and be more relaxed. I also find that I don’t live in the future as much with him. I find that I embrace the unknown.

Another significant matter it brings up in me? That I am afraid of making myself emotionally vulnerable. That I can’t admit I can’t be always strong. That I have expectations and can’t always go along with the other person wants. I learned to stand up for myself and be true to my desires, no matter how much I love the person. And most of all, start taking chances in love and not think so much about what will happen. Being in love is a journey in itself.

Meant for Your Healing

Relationships are meant to heal you. Whatever your emotional issues are, they are meant to throw a light on them. Being with someone means healing yourself and letting go of the pain, so you can move forward and invite the greater into your life together.

Fear can never heal, only love can. Being in love is beautiful because you can only be happy when you love someone and yourself with all your heart. You can only be happy through forgiveness and love.

Helps Bring Out Your Individuality with the Right Person

Another significant lesson I learned? Too many people believe that being in a relationship is not worth it because it means throwing away your individuality and independence. If you are with the right person, your individuality will never be stifled. Instead, your individuality will blossom with the right person. They will elevate you to your highest consciousness. And you will do the same for him. Together, you will be more of yourself with each other.

What lessons have you learned from your relationships? How did you grow? Please share with me in the comments.