2016 was all about letting go of people and situations that didn’t serve me.  It felt like a push and pull year.  It was an emotionally intense year where I nearly cried myself to sleep every day.  I’m proud that I was committed to trusting the process and surrendering last year because now I know why it happened.  2017 was a completely different year.  A fast, active, social year filled with new beginnings and light in my life. 

A fresh chapter has arrived and the pages are turning.  Since I am knowledgeable about astrology and numerology, I knew 2016 was year 9 of my 9-year cycle.  It made sense because that year was about completion and endings.  Whereas 2017 was about fresh starts and beginnings.  2017 was year 1 of my brand new 9-year cycle.

Because I knew this, I knew the beautiful, sunny energy of Year 1 would support me in anything I wanted to do and initiate this year.  I consciously used this magnificent, bountiful energy to transform the two areas of my life that needed the most transformation: MONEY and ROMANTIC LOVE.  

Falling in Love with My Money…

I spent the first six months of this year working with a Money Coach deeply unraveling my beliefs and patterns surrounding money and understanding with confronting clarity the emotional reasons on why and how I handled my money the way I did.  Why I made the decisions I did.  I learned how I didn’t love myself very much and gave my power away to others.  Slowly, piece by piece, I gave the power back to myself. I worked on clearing my credit card and started to put a portion of my earnings into savings every month.  I realized that taking care of money and my finances is just as important and part of self-care as baths, massages, etc. and an act of deep self-love.

For the FIRST time in my life, an emotional energy and deep love powered my financial decisions.  I knew why I spent a certain amount every month and why I saved every month.  In fact, I renamed my bank account savings to: My Wedding + Self-Love.  Because this is exactly why I’m saving money.  For myself.  For my wedding.  For me.  To show love to myself.

Saving Money is a deep act of self love and taking care of myself.  By the end of 2017, I am really proud that I have completed paid off my credit card.  The past 2.5 years I thought of my credit card every moment.  Now I feel this beautiful sense of relief and pride.  And abundance.  And I also have a financially abundant bank account and never have I before had such a healthy, loving relationship with money.

I deliberately chose to work on the money part of my life first because sexual energy intertwines and bonds romantic love and money.  In other words, the seductive sexual energy creates life and magnetizes the flow of money.  By working on my money stuff, I knew I was working on my sexual energy and romantic love life at the same time.  I noticed how my sexual appeal and magnetism as a woman greatly increased as I did deep inner work on my money.

Romantic Love Experiences

Around March this year, I had an experience with a man which turned out to be deeply emotional, sensitive, and intense.  I don’t want to go into detail, however I will say the meeting wasn’t pleasant and it reaffirmed the deeply embedded subconscious beliefs I held of myself that I am not worthy of true love and that a man won’t stand up for me and want to be in a loving, committed relationship with me.  It has taken months for me to process this experience.  It was a deeply painful experience.  Everything that I felt about myself reflected to me through him.  And I must have been a mirror for himself as well.  I knew I had deeper inner work to do surrounding love.

This experience transformed me in ways I cannot explain still.  I read many books and blogs on romantic love across all topics – sex, commitment, communication, dating, self-worth.  Basically, I learned how to have a relationship and be in a relationship.  Something we all assume will just come naturally to us when we meet the right person or start dating.  We assume that there isn’t anything to learn about relationships because well, it’s not like math or science or English in school.

And I didn’t just read…I did the inner work.  I dove deep into my soul and searched for answers and more importantly, the right questions.  Because all my life I thought being in the perfect, loving relationship was a dream and would fall into my lap only if I was lucky and fortunate.  I wish someone told me that I am responsible and a creator of this relationship.  By first creating a loving, committed relationship with myself and accepting and embracing who I am completely as a person and my flaws and my self-worth.

I’ve heard this so many times and understood it on a mental and intellectual level, though to put this in action.  To do the inner work and take the actions to love myself and create the relationship of my dreams.  That was something else!  It meant facing my own shadows and darkness.  And it was scary and chaotic and a beautiful mess.  And completely worth it.  So after my money work, I continued working with my first coach whom I had worked with much earlier and went deeper in the realm of love, sex, and desire.  I showed up for myself and this work.

Around July last year, I also moved home and this also proved to be the right decision for me.  I was able to save more money faster and since my family lives in a more relaxed town with a slower pace of life than the rest of chaotic Silicon Valley, I was able to seek true joy and pleasure in my life and make time for my family and friends and most of all, my self and my desires.

I created a new in person workshop that integrated everything I learned about Money and Romantic Love and called it Invite & Receive Romantic Love & Money.  I facilitate this workshop at a gorgeous hotel and it is such a pleasure for me to support the women in their romantic love and money areas of their lives.

I ran this workshop twice and the participants had beautiful words and praise for it which made my heart filled with deep love and gratitude.  There was several requests to run the workshop again during the Holiday season, however I decided to focus on slowing down in November and December and enjoying the Holidays.  The Holidays bring up mixed emotions in me, though overall I enjoyed myself during the Holidays.

Moving Forward in 2018 and My Vision

I’ve taken time into January to write this post because I wanted to gently enter the new year.  I wanted to be present every moment of the Holiday season.  Now that I’ve had time to process 2017, I’ve felt into how I want 2018 to unfold.  I let my guide words for this year come to me.  And here they are….ROMANTIC, EROTIC, MAGICAL, SEDUCTIVE, EASEFUL

I want the focus to be entirely on my personal romantic love life and going deeper in my sexuality this year.  I really want to experience romance as I’m a Taurean woman and we love romance and sweetness 🙂  I continued with the word Magical because I want this year to be even more magical than 2017.  2017 was indeed very magical and I want to continue on this same path this year.  Erotic and seductive is how I desire to feel in my sexuality and with a man.

And I also continued the usage of the world Easeful because I want everything in my life to unfold with gentle, feminine ease.  I don’t want to  push and strive to fulfill my desires.  I’ll listen to my intuition and soul’s guidance and then take inspired action.  It’ll be a beautiful dance between doing and stillness.  I want to enjoy the journey of receiving my desires and seeing them become fulfilled.

I am going to continue to work on my money and I want it to feel easy receiving large sums of money and earning money in creative, fun, and healthy ways.  I intend to deepen my now healthy, thriving relationship with money.  I want to feel richness with my money.  The action steps I’ll take is to complete the Modern Retirement Planning workshop, save more money each month, and earn money easily and creatively through my Invite and Receive Romantic Love & Money workshops.

I also know that 2018 is Year 2 of my 9-year cycle which means this year is going to be tremendously different from the past three years that were intense and filled with transformation.  Year 2 is a very emotional, slow-paced, and gentle year yet filled with intensity and sensitivity.  This is the year for me to become intimate with my Beloved and form a deep bond with him.  This also means it’s not a year meant for action or initiating huge projects.  It’s more of a go with the flow year and focus on building a strong inner foundation which will create a strong external foundation.

There will be moments of intensity and I’ll feel sensitive and I’ll have to be patient with myself and other people in my life and take time to connect with my inner stillness.  Keeping this in mind, I feel it’s the perfect year to focus on my health and body.  I’m working with a body coach to feel deep love for my body and feel peace with my relationship with food.  It’s working wonders because I don’t have a love-hate relationship with food anymore.  I approach food from a place of love and practice intuitive eating.  I’ve also starting taking dance classes and working out at the gym.  Instead of going crazy on my exercise routine and pushing myself, I work out in a gentle, loving way that honors my body.

I also do feel the desire to connect with something more than myself.  With God.  With the Universe.  Whatever name you decide to call it, for me, it’s God and the Universe.  I am feeling an intensity to visit Churches, Temples, and other places of worship.  I’m not even sure why.  I do know that I feel the calling and hence I’ll honor it.  Perhaps this is my way to feel calm and centered and peaceful this year as I understand my soul’s plans and learnings.

And most of all, this year is devoted to exploring my beautiful, sublime, erotic, and seductive sexuality.  Embracing all the soft and fiery elements of my sexuality and womanhood.  I intend to feel satisfied, happy, orgasmic, and feminine in love and expressing my wildly deep feminine sexuality with myself and my Beloved.  I want to feel affection and loved and stable and supported.  I’m currently speaking with several sex coaches and determining who will be the right fit for me.  And once I do, I’ll commit to my sexuality by working with my sex coach.  I’ve also started reading several books on sexuality and sex and have an ongoing jade egg practice.  I intend to be committed in a long-term, loving relationship with my Beloved this year and committed to my own happiness and peace of mind.

I hope you have a beautiful, magical, easeful 2018 filled with happiness and do the things and have experiences that bring you joy and surround yourself with people who bring out your best.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

“Strong emotions such as passion and bliss are indications that you’re connected to Spirit, or ‘inspired,’ if you will.  When you’re inspired, you activate dormant forces, and the abundance you seek in any form comes streaming into your life.” – Wayne Dyer

The first print copy of my debut novel Enchanted Silence landed in my mailbox.  I excitedly took the package and tore it in a hurry.  There it was.  The official print book in my delicate hands.

Tears suddenly rolled down my cheeks.  My fingers gently touched the cover.  The book looked magnificent.  A deep throbbing rocked my chest.  My dream had finally been realized.  And then all excitement washed away.

Memories flooded my head of how this book was completed.  The man with whom I had been in an intense relationship with for four years helped bring this book to fruition.  In love at the time, we sat together at coffee shops going through page by page and perfecting it.

It was how I fell in love with him.  Our relationship and him greatly inspired Enchanted Silence.  I couldn’t bring myself to print the first copy for months because it was too painful.  I lived most of the events in it.  I had always imagined we would still be together holding the first copy in our hands happily married.

That didn’t happen.  A lot changed in my life since our relationship.  I went through a deep unraveling and surrendering, peeling away layer after layer to reveal the authentic Priyanka.  I had come so far in my life.  I had finally let go of this relationship and was ready to move forward in my life.

Then, an inkling of courage stirred in me.  I had to love this book as my own child.  And I had to let it go with love and respect and mark official completion of that whole phase in my life.  I had to stop clinging to my past and instead embrace the present and my new future.

I lit candles and played soft music.  I poured myself a glass of wine and took a sip.  I lit a gentle fire safely and burned every page of Enchanted Silence until there wasn’t any as tear after tear rolled down my cheeks.

When I completed the release ritual to let go of my novel lovingly, I sat down in exhaustion.  But something had changed in me.  I felt free.  I felt space in me.  I felt open.  I was ready to turn the page and onto the next chapter of my life.

If you’d like to do a release ritual or ceremony to help you release something or someone in your life, here is what you can do:

1. Set a morning or evening on your calendar for the release ritual.

I personally love to do release rituals in the evening, sometimes even late in the night.  I’m not a morning person and for some reason, the night feels divine and sensual and sexy to me.

After I go through my day, I find it comforting to complete my day with a beautiful ritual.  I feel a sense of wholeness and deep connection to my spirit and then I go to sleep.

2. Prepare a loving environment for your release ritual.

I light candles everywhere and prepare a cup of tea to soothe and calm nerves and have a peaceful ritual.  Other times, I pour myself a cup of wine to sip on as I go through my release ritual and give it a more sensual mood.

It all depends on how I’m feeling and I let my body tell me what it wants.  Play music that suits your mood.

3. Write your intention in your journal.

This is one of the most important steps.  It is essential that you have an intention in mind for your ritual.  What do you want to release?  Why do you want to release it?  What are you making space for?  How do you want to feel when you release? 

When I decided to release my novel Enchanted Silence, I wanted to let go of the novel I spent many years writing and was still attached to.

4. Write in detail and to your heart’s content.

Write as long as you need to in your journal or letter.  I go in depth about how I’m feeling.  After I have the intention written, everything else flows.  The words come from the depths of my soul.

Let your heart guide the words and your feeling.

5. Burn the letter in a safe place.

This is the crux of the release ritual.  I burn the letter in a safe place and watch the sheet(s) of paper burn away.  There is something deeply divine about this process.  It gives you a sense of completion and accomplishment.

6. Celebrate the release ritual and the new space created in your life.

Congratulations!  You have now officially completed the ritual and created sacred space in your life for what you’d like to draw in.  Celebrate what you have created and how you have released it with a whole lot of love and kindness and most of all, respect.

Honor what you have released because it was a part of your life and who you were and has led to where you are today.

What would you like to lovingly let go of in your release ritual?  How do you want to feel afterwards?  What would you like to invite into your life after your release?  Please share with me in the comments.

 

 

Image source: weheartit.com

I can’t count how many times I’ve been in a transition.  My previous transition had occurred around May 2015 when I quit my job, ended a relationship, moved out of my apartment, and went to live with my parents.  A couple months later, life was pretty different.  I started working again.  I approached my work very differently.

Instead of dreading going to work and keep fantasizing about the future, I decided to stay grounded in the best.  I decided to seek pleasure and joy in my work even if I was doing tasks I didn’t enjoy.  I made a decision to feel love in my body and heart in where I was in life at that point in time.

Every morning, I went to work and took my journal.  Before I started checking my emails, I grabbed a cup of coffee and wrote five things I was thankful for in my journal.  I’m proud to say I did this consistently and still start my day like this.

And I would choose a specific feeling to focus on for the day and practiced feeling it moment by moment.  That’s it.  And then the next day I chose another feeling.  The feelings varied from happiness, joy, peace, to ease.

When going through a transition, it is important to trust the process and let it unfold without any interference.  That means to get out of your own way.  Your mind is meant to support your heart’s desires, yet most of the time our mind creates chatter and self-talk that is not supportive and instead critical.  And your mind will create a bunch of excuses or jump to a conclusion.  Every time that happens, bring yourself back to the present moment and take a deep breath.

Most of all, don’t judge the process and your feelings that arise during the transition time.  Take your time and if you feel resistance or intense emotions arising, then go deep and slow.  Hold yourself dearly like you would to your friend who needs extra support and kindness.

In Enchanted Silence, Shivani decides to take a leave from her office job to go to India for her transition into the internship in Mumbai, India where she would learn about nonprofits and her passion, social causes.  She ends up taking stock of her past and making peace of it and moving forward to start a new chapter.  The whole process for change starts from within and becomes reflected in her external world.

Sensual Practices:  Make time for your pleasure, but go slow and deep when loving your body.  I like to take a feather and brush it against my skin and whole body and feel fully every stroke of the feather.  You may want to stop or become impatient, but stay with the practice.  Do it for at least five minutes and feel every emotion that arises.  This will help you to stay in the present moment and when you are anchored in the now, you will find synchronicity, guidance, and comfort flow to you that will help you to move forward with ease and flow.  It’s a simple, but powerful exercise.

Intuitive Practices:  Get a deck of tarot cards and do a reading for yourself is soothing and can provide you with guidance and simply support you to believe in the unseen and have faith that what is unfolding is for your higher good.  You can even go for a professional tarot card reading or energy healing to deeply support yourself during a transition.  Or open up a journal and write how you want to feel during this transition and what fears are arising and what self-care practices you will take on board for your well-being.

If this post resonated with you and you’d like to move to the next chapter of your life by honoring your past and navigating your current transition with ease and flow, please get in touch with me and schedule time with me to become more Wildly intimate with your desires and goals.  I’d love to hold space for your own deep transformation, dear Wildly Intimate Woman.

 

Image source:  CAMP Collection