The last two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride.  I have been trying to figure out the next steps in a new writing project I took on.  I’ve been in and out of my house.  Frankly, it’s been mentally exhausting because of the sheer amount of decisions I’ve had to take.  Small decisions.  Big decisions.  Sigh, too many decisions!

As a result, I’ve been walking around with a tight, nervous sensation floating in my chest and stomach.  My head has hummed with headaches.  Admittedly, there has been a lot of tears and even some shouting.  For an emotional bottled up type of person like me, that’s a classic move 🙂

And finally, the realization is hitting me how much I’ve been striving and pushing the last couple weeks.  Trying to make things happen and meet goals.  Trying to reach some external form of validation.  To make myself feel better.  To feel productive.  To feel fulfilled.

After an Emotional Breakdown This Week…

So an emotional meltdown had to happen.  Some person became the target of my yelling, shouting, and tears.  I won’t say it was completely my fault, some mine and some the other person’s, but the point is that I transferred some of the frustration and pain building up in me to this person.

It was an extremely heated exchange.  I did some thinking and the next day, I apologized for my behavior.  But it led me thinking.  Why did I do that?  Why did I such an outburst?  What was going on in my inner world?

I was Striving for Fulfillment and Validation through External Situations and People

I was trying to fill myself up with love through these external ways, instead of tapping into my own inner well of abundance.  This is why I felt frustrated and filled with pain and tension.  I am human and allowed to feel this way at times, but the danger is when I get caught up in this endless cycle and trap.

So I stopped doing everything I was doing. I took a mini break in the middle of the week. I worked on bringing myself back to my inner world.

Here are some of the ways I started to tap into my inner abundance.  I hope this helps you too if you’re going through a similar situation or simply want to become more centered and present in your life.

Relish the Small Joys

When you get caught in the striving external trap, the easiest thing to do is overlook all the little things that bring you joy.

The last two weeks, I haven’t made time for meditation.  I haven’t listened to inspiring podcasts.  Instead, I’ve been glued to the television and running around trying to get stuff done.  I haven’t paid much attention to the foods I’ve been consuming either.

Make time to water the flowers or simply sit with a cup of tea relaxing on your sofa.  Drown yourself in a book.  Take the day off from work and simply be.  You will find these seemingly little moments will fill you up drop by drop.  You’ll find a strange sense of peace begin to stir in you.

Close Your Eyes and Play with Your Imagination

Close your eyes and think back to when you were a child.  Remember when you used to play house with your siblings.  Or come up with these games that now seem totally ridiculous and cute at the same time.  When I think back to some of the games I played with my brother and sister, a smile plays on my lips.

When you were a child, your imagination was incredibly vivid and active.  You placed no limitations on your ability to imagine and daydream.  Everything was possible!  As you grew older, you started to place self-imposed limitations and blocks on your ability to dream and imagine.

It’s not so much about your dreams coming true, while that is also important, it is how you may have completely stopped even dreaming.  You might think: Ah, what’s the point to even dream.  It’s not gonna come true.

When you were a child, you didn’t even care about the outcome or whether your dream would come true, you just dreamed.  So go back to this beautiful practice.  Think about all the possibilities and how you envision your life.  Give yourself permission to feel, smell, taste, see, and touch your desires.  You will feel lighter and this is the energy that will give birth to new creations in your life.

Lay Still and Relax Your Body Part by Part

Your mind may be stuck in the past or future, but your body is always rooted in the present.  If you want to truly know how you’re feeling, always turn to your body.  It is a very accurate reflection of what’s going on in your inner world and heart and soul.

When there’s too much going on and you want to pause so you can tap into your well of inner abundance and love, then lie down on a comfortable cushion, bed, or yoga mat.  I personally prefer yoga mats.  Concentrate on staying as present as possible and stretching each body part.  While moving and stretching each body part, feel the inherent energy vibrating in your body.

Observe how your body makes you feel.  Watch closely which parts of your body contain a light, fine, high energy and which parts contain a low and dense vibrating energy.  Feel any tension in your body.  Move through the emotions.

Write Down What You are Thankful for

This is obvious, yet we all tend to overlook this.  Make a list of what you are thankful for at this moment.  Or simply take in everything you feel grateful for through your gaze and heart.  Look around and see what is surrounding you.  Feel the abundance and love within you.

Your perspective will shift and you will find that freshness will imbibe your work and days.

Observe Your Body in Your Private Space

Have you ever stared at your own eyes in the mirror?  What did your eyes say to you?  What was your soul speaking out to you?  This is a beautiful practice to give love to yourself and accept yourself the way you are, flaws and everything.

You can observe your whole body in a full length mirror.  See what you see.  Feel yourself and your energy.  Smile and watch how your face looks when smiling.  If you want to take this self-love practice even further and create a better relationship with your body, you can strip your clothes and gently observe your body.  What do you like about your body?  What do you not like so much about your body?  Can you still find some space in you to love every part of you, even your flaws and the parts you don’t like so much?

Become Present through a Fun Activity

Your life is not what you are going through.  It’s not some situation or problem you are trying to resolve.  Your life is every breathe you take.  It’s how you go through your days and stay in your being.  You stay in your being when you are present and grounded in the now.

Turn off the television and your phone.  Become centered through a fun activity that will allow you to explore your creativity and imagination.  Something that will be messy and a real, authentic expression of your inner self.  Painting is one way.  You can write a poem.  Bake a cake where you forget the time.  Go for a walk and watch the leaves rustling.  This activity can be anything you desire, as long as you are more rooted in the present and can feel yourself lighten.

Set an Intention to Stay Present and Centered

Lastly, sometimes all it takes to break this cycle of external seeking and striving is to set a clear intention.  Make it simple for yourself.

At the start of the day, set an intention that you want to follow the rest of the day.  It can be to be as present and centered as possible.  It can be to show more love for yourself.  It can be to show up fully for your desires.

As you go through your day, think of your intention and take actions that align with it.  Make sure you’re in a high fine state of energetic vibration that allows you to go through your day.

When your day wraps up, before going to sleep, make a note of all the special things that may have happened to you.  Acknowledge how you felt throughout your day.  Did you feel more alive and lighter?  Did you feel gratitude and love? What did you manifest?  Feel proud of yourself.

Then, the next morning, set another intention.  Living consciously and tapping into your inner abundance is about being truthful and loving moment by moment.

What are some of the ways you strive for more fulfillment, love, and validation through external ways? How can you tap into your inner abundance to instead fill yourself up with love instead of looking at external situations or results? Please share with me in the comments.